Who's Really Calling the Shots in Your Life? Understanding the Locus of Evaluation
Have you ever felt like you're constantly looking over your shoulder, waiting for someone else's approval before you can truly feel good about yourself or your choices? If so, you might be experiencing what therapists call an "external locus of evaluation." It's a key concept in psychotherapy that sheds light on where we draw our sense of worth and how it impacts our lives.
What Exactly Is the Locus of Evaluation?
Imagine a seesaw. On one side is your internal sense of self-worth and your own judgments. On the other, the opinions, expectations, and judgments of others. The "locus of evaluation" simply refers to where the primary weight on that seesaw lies.
In psychotherapy, particularly within humanistic approaches like Person-Centred Therapy, the concept of locus of evaluation is central to understanding a person's psychological well-being. Carl Rogers, a pioneer in this field, believed that a healthy individual develops an internal locus of evaluation. This means they largely rely on their own feelings, experiences, and values to determine what is right or wrong, good or bad, for them.
When Others Hold the Measuring Tape: The External Locus
So, how does an external locus of evaluation appear in daily life? It can show up in countless ways:
Seeking Constant Approval: You might find yourself consistently looking for praise, compliments, or validation from friends, family, or colleagues. A new outfit feels "wrong" until someone tells you it looks good. A decision feels "risky" until someone else gives it the green light.
Fear of Disapproval: This is the flip side of the coin. You might avoid expressing your true opinions, pursuing your passions, or making choices that go against what you perceive others expect of you, all to avoid criticism or rejection.
Living by "Shoulds" and "Musts": Your life might be dictated by a long list of unwritten rules based on what you think others believe you "should" or "must" do to be considered successful, worthy, or lovable.
Comparing Yourself to Others: You might constantly measure your achievements, appearance, or happiness against those around you, feeling inadequate if you don't stack up to perceived external standards.
Difficulty Making Decisions: If your internal compass isn't guiding you, making even simple decisions can feel overwhelming, as you're perpetually searching for an external authority to tell you what to do.
The Heavy Toll of an External Locus
The negative impact of an external locus of evaluation can be profound and far-reaching:
Fragile Self-Esteem: When your sense of worth is based on external validation, it becomes incredibly fragile. Your self-esteem becomes a rollercoaster, rising and falling with every compliment or criticism. Research consistently links an external locus of evaluation to lower self-esteem and higher levels of anxiety and depression (e.g., Rogers, 1959; Ryan & Deci, 2000). If your worth is determined by others, what happens when their opinions shift or they're no longer present?
Lack of Authenticity: You may find yourself constantly adapting your personality, opinions, and even your appearance to fit what you believe others want to see. This leads to a profound sense of not being "real" and can be incredibly isolating.
Stunted Personal Growth: When you're always looking outside yourself for answers, you don't develop the crucial skill of self-reflection and trusting your own judgment. This can hinder your ability to learn from your experiences and grow as an individual.
Resentment and Burnout: Constantly trying to meet external expectations is exhausting. Over time, this can lead to feelings of resentment towards those you are trying to please, and ultimately, emotional burnout.
Difficulty Forming Genuine Connections: True connection is built on authenticity. If you're not presenting your true self, it becomes challenging to form deep, meaningful relationships where you feel truly seen and accepted for who you are.
Building Your Internal Compass
The good news is that developing a more internal locus of evaluation is absolutely possible. It's a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance that often benefits greatly from therapeutic support.
Peer-reviewed research in psychotherapy, particularly within the humanistic tradition, highlights that a therapeutic environment characterized by empathy, unconditional positive regard, and congruence can help individuals shift from an external to an internal locus of evaluation (Rogers, 1959). In such an environment, you learn to trust your own experiences and feelings, fostering a stronger sense of self-worth that originates from within.
Invest in Your Inner Voice
If you find yourself nodding along to these descriptions, recognizing the patterns of an external locus of evaluation in your own life, please know that you're not alone. It's a common struggle, but one that can be overcome.
Working with a suitably qualified therapist can provide you with the safe and supportive space to explore these patterns, understand their origins, and gradually build a stronger, more resilient internal compass. Learning to trust your own evaluations and develop a sense of worth that is independent of external opinions is one of the most empowering journeys you can embark on. It's an investment in your authentic self, your well-being, and your ability to live a life that truly resonates with who you are.
Crucible Personal Development is a private psychotherapy and counselling practice in Preston, Lancashire.
References:
Rogers, C. R. (1959). A theory of therapy, personality, and interpersonal relationships as developed in the client-centered framework. In S. Koch (Ed.), Psychology: A study of a science. Vol. 3: Formulations of the person and the social context1 (pp. 184-256). McGraw-Hill.
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68-78.
